Tuesday, 10 July 2007

Mr Testicles on ice...

The morning sun gave me and my sack a lovely warm glow! It sure was a nice to see real summer morning sunshine again! However, stepping into the changing room of the men's ice hockey team at Ice Sheffield gave me a real shock!! The smell…WoWah! Phew!! Think of a marathon runner who has put his 26 miles of sweaty smalls into his thank you sponsor bag and forgotten all about it, and then several weeks later goes looking for his marathon program and opens the awaiting stink bomb!!

Ok, so think about that smell and you're not far off… Seriously though, I nearly collapsed! But in fairness these boys do work hard. I quickly changed and stepped out onto the empty rink and my sack instantly shrivelled up like a walnut whip, feeling like a miniature stepping onto the coldness of the ice rink! I nearly disappeared it was so cold! So a few warm-up laps to show off my skating skills and in no time the colour had come back some what!

You see, testicles are designed to be 1 degree cooler than the body… which is why they hang outside the body! So I was designed to be cool! How cool is that!
I continued to warm up and shot a few pucks with the lads (who gave my balls a few wincing flicks) So I mashed them into the wall and luckily escaped the ball bag sin bin. I had a great time! Thanks to the lads at Sheffield Scimitars. A quick change and then the beautiful and skilful Kelly fully warmed my cockles... forget dancing on ice, we nearly melted the ice, DingDangDo!

This testosterone filled Torvel and Dean wiped the floor. If you want to see a giant pair of testicles and the beautiful Kelly go for Olympic gold, then have a look at the video ice link!
I had an amazing time at Ice Sheffield - it's an amazing place!

On the way out I had a chance meeting with John, a youthful 71 year old, who took up skating after he lost his wife 2 years ago! John goes skating 4 times a week as part of his keep fit program! Ice skating is a fun and exciting way to keet fit and great family fun too! My tip is to get down to your local ice rink and have some fun while getting fit! It was lovely to meet you John... I hope that I have your energy level at 71!! Big thank you to all the staff and supporters, and big love to Shaun, Kelly, Lexie and the Sheffield hockey team!

Tired and sweaty, but on an absolute buzz, I quickly gave an interview to the very lovely Laura at BBC Radio Sheffield! After that I pushed on to get my first hitch of the day and it was our new charity trustee Paul, in his amazing vintage VW Van Cool who very kindly gave me a lift to Manchester! It sure has been a full on day!!
Thank you to the staff at Premier Ttravel Inn Hyde for your love and support.

Overall today I seemed to have laughed so much that my ballies ache a little, so a hot bath and early to bed for me!

So come on, and adopt this ice-skating-pirouetting bollocks for just £7 a month!
Love you
Mr Testicles x

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